Just when you think you have it all worked out...

Life is everchanging.

No matter where I feel I am in my life, I still feel that I am twelve steps behind. I could be feeling completely fulfilled and then something happens. My hubby and I could be working out our bill situation and feel confident where we are going and then we have to owe $400 for a lousy mistake. Why do these things happen? Partly because we let the mistakes happen and do not think before we act. Partly because pure dumb luck.

I am blessed to be loved and to know where I am going in this life, but I forget sometimes in all the hub bub that it will work out. God is good! I know this, but why do I stress, why do I worry? Why would I say to my God that I do not trust him? This is basically what I am doing when I choose to worry. "Thanks God for all you do, but I think my problems are too big for you." UH NO!! So dumb.

Lately, I have been having many DUH moments. Mostly the ridiculousness on how I act with certain things that are so pointless in the grand scheme of things. I know that I am ever trying to be the person God calls me to be and therefore, when I open my eyes and ears I continuously find things that I know now are sinful, but before I did not believe so. I do not think it was because I was a more terrible person before, but more that I have changed and found other things that need to be improved on. I am excited that these things are happening, but I have been feeling a bit stupid a lot. The best way to deal with all the stupid things is to work on the moment.

We have been reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I am only on the third chapter and I am already blown away by the things I miss in life and in the end I am missing greater moments with God. I hope that I can take what I have been learning and apply it and not do what I usually do and which is just shelving it away. I am chock-full of information that is quite pratical and yet I let it collect dust. Bah! Prayer will be happening on this matter and it will continue forever.

I am terrible at it, but I am being convicted to do so...

My step-mom was the QUEEN of writing letters/cards to people. She was also amazing at letting people know the importance they have in her life. I admire that greatly.

Lately, I have been really convicted to start letting people know how important they are to me, to someone, to God. Not just by email or text, but sitting down and taking the time to hand write a nice letter/card to those that are important to me, those that I miss and those that need encouragement. Besides the no time issue, which I think I can muster up anyway, it is the fact that I stink at writing letters. I never know what to say or how to say it. I want it to be sincere and I want it to be well written. Why is it so hard to put together words to tell someone I care about them or that I love them or that they mean so much to me? Am I just being to picky? Am I afraid that they will find it trite (love this word)?

And also I have been wanting to let those that I pray about know that I am praying for them. However, what is my reasoning for this? I originally thought it was because I know I feel comforted when I know someone is praying for me. I worry though that there may be another reason. Maybe I am looking to feel appreciated for doing this.

Speaking of praying, God is good. I have been praying more and more lately because I never thought my prayer life was where it should be. I always got feelings that I should be praying for people and initially I thought that I was just being weird. But this is not so, I have been praying for those that pop in my head and it turns out they really needed that prayer. Cool. God is good!