Just when you think you have it all worked out...

Life is everchanging.

No matter where I feel I am in my life, I still feel that I am twelve steps behind. I could be feeling completely fulfilled and then something happens. My hubby and I could be working out our bill situation and feel confident where we are going and then we have to owe $400 for a lousy mistake. Why do these things happen? Partly because we let the mistakes happen and do not think before we act. Partly because pure dumb luck.

I am blessed to be loved and to know where I am going in this life, but I forget sometimes in all the hub bub that it will work out. God is good! I know this, but why do I stress, why do I worry? Why would I say to my God that I do not trust him? This is basically what I am doing when I choose to worry. "Thanks God for all you do, but I think my problems are too big for you." UH NO!! So dumb.

Lately, I have been having many DUH moments. Mostly the ridiculousness on how I act with certain things that are so pointless in the grand scheme of things. I know that I am ever trying to be the person God calls me to be and therefore, when I open my eyes and ears I continuously find things that I know now are sinful, but before I did not believe so. I do not think it was because I was a more terrible person before, but more that I have changed and found other things that need to be improved on. I am excited that these things are happening, but I have been feeling a bit stupid a lot. The best way to deal with all the stupid things is to work on the moment.

We have been reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I am only on the third chapter and I am already blown away by the things I miss in life and in the end I am missing greater moments with God. I hope that I can take what I have been learning and apply it and not do what I usually do and which is just shelving it away. I am chock-full of information that is quite pratical and yet I let it collect dust. Bah! Prayer will be happening on this matter and it will continue forever.